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Volume 11- 2009
Equine
Facilitated Team Building and Leadership
Workshops
Book
of The Month
Anyone who has admired a
horse galloping across a field has stepped
into their mythic life, if only for a
moment. Horses are by nature mythic, representing
in our collective imagination the human
journey at its greatest. In Riding into
Your Mythic Life, therapeutic riding instructor
Patricia Broersma invites readers on a
transformative trip with these powerful
creatures, offering strategies to explore
life’s events as part of a personal
mythic voyage. Broersma draws on more
than 12 years of working with horses and
adults, teenagers, and special-needs children,
blending that experience with thoughtful
mythological stories and a range of body-based
modalities. Riding into Your Mythic Life
teaches skills for developing intuition,
compassion, and leadership, and ultimately
for stepping into one’s greater
life. The book encourages an awareness
of subtle cues in oneself and others —
both horses and people — and ways
to orchestrate this awareness to overcome
painful life events and lead a more joyful
and fulfilling life.
Toleration
Fee Zone
Top
10 Points Regarding Tolerations
1. Tolerations
are things you are putting up with.
These include people, situations, behaviors,
yourself, your body, your environments,
feelings, reactions, problems, pressures,
expectations, restrictions, stress, inadequacies,
'missings' and events. We all put up with
stuff. Thus, we're all tolerating.
2.
Calling something a toleration gives you
better control over it.
When something is a problem, reaction,
issue, annoyance, irritant or something
else we're putting up with, we tend to
see it as connected to us or a part of
us. It's an extension of ourselves, it's
OUR problem, WE caused it or it's 'just
the way things are' in MY life. In other
words, we've personalized it. But by labeling
something as a toleration, you depersonalize
it. You compartmentalize it (in a good
way). You change the item's packaging
from being Velcro to having a convenient
handle that allows you to carry it or
toss it out -- your choice. And, that's
the point, tolerations give you choice.
3. We tolerate
for a number of 'good' reasons.
These include cultural norms, ignorance/unawareness,
unmet needs, external pressures, emotional
stresses. A coach and/or therapist can
help you reduce the causes of your tolerations.
We also tolerate because the friction
we get often stimulates us, much like
the grain of sand in the oyster irritates
the membranes to produce a substance that
eventually turns into a beautiful pearl.
In fact, some of us cannot create cool
stuff with stress, irritants or pain (a.k.a.
tolerations). So, tolerations are normal,
natural and CAN work quite well for you.
However, there IS a price to pay for them.
4. Tolerations
are expensive.
When you are tolerating you incur two
types of cost. The first type is called
immediate costs, such as discomfort, emotional
reactions, loss of energy, down-ness,
friction, effort, etc. The second type
is called opportunity costs. In other
words, because you, your body and your
mind are too busy 'dealing with' tolerations
(even subconsciously), you don't have
the bandwidth to see and fully respond
to personal and business opportunities
which are occurring all around you. You
are missing these opportunities because
you are too busy or too ignorant/numb/unaware
of them. The opportunity cost of tolerations
is incredibly expensive.
5. Reducing
tolerations energizes a person.
This because tolerations are drains or
source of friction/resistance. You feel
energy because you are improving your
alignment with what's true now and what
is best for you now.
6. Come to understand
the toleration before you eliminate it.
It's great to eliminate tolerations but
don't get caught up in the elimination
mode unless you are also coming to understand
why the toleration is/was there in the
first place. Remember, tolerations are
here for a reason. Better to know the
reason and use that information to know
yourself better than to just eliminate
the toleration without knowing.
7. There are
3 basic strategies to prevent tolerations
from reoccurring.
Once you eliminate a toleration, you probably
want to prevent it from happening again.
The three ways to do this are sensitization,
systems and support. The more sensitized
you are, the less you'll put up with things.
Reducing alcohol, tv, bad food will automatically
sensitize you. By systems, I mean automation,
better filters, delegating, outsourcing,
etc. By support, I mean having people
around you who are on a similar toleration-free
track so that you can support each other
in a world that tolerates so much.
8. Boundaries,
standards and reserves also help to prevent
tolerations. As you extend your
boundaries, fewer bad stuff gets near
you. As you raise your standards you rise
above the muck of life. As you build time
and financial reserves, you can see life
as it occurs and thus respond much faster
to things that might turn into tolerations.
9. Tolerations
are a simple, practical place to start
.
Start with 25 things you are putting up
with. As you identify and works on tolerations,
you empower yourself.
10. Becoming a Toleration-Free
Zone is possible.
When you first start eliminating tolerations,
you may find that you discover more and
more of them, so it might seem a little
overwhelming. But after six or 12 months,
you start seeing the light at the end
of the tunnel and you glimpse the possibility
of being a Toleration-Free Zone. I can
and does happen, but it tends to take
1-2 years. It's worth it!
Copyright 2000 by Thomas Leonard and
2006 by CoachVille LLC.
"What
lies behind us and what lies before
us are tiny matters compared to what
lies within us."
- Oliver Wendell
Holmes
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